


rainbow

by bbjikseu



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Dating, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Ice Skating, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Underage Sex, Letters, Light Angst, M/M, Mild Language, No Smut, Not Beta Read, Rainbows
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-09
Updated: 2020-07-09
Packaged: 2021-03-05 03:13:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 16,516
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25167511
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bbjikseu/pseuds/bbjikseu
Summary: "Please don't leave like the last time", the younger boy whispered, scared his voice would break if he used it, "in one minute you were here and in the next you were gone - so suddenly."Changbin's arms held Felix' body tightly and his lips gently kissed the top of his head."I won't...I'm sorry, Lix."Or a story in which Felix and Changbin finally realise their feelings for each other but before they can even enjoy it it's over again.
Relationships: Han Jisung | Han/Lee Minho | Lee Know, Lee Felix/Seo Changbin
Comments: 28
Kudos: 29





	1. purple

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, this is my first posted story here on ao3!
> 
> I hope you like it uwu
> 
> Just a little warning, I won't be really active here, but I will try to upload things.
> 
> And English isn't my first language, I'm open for constructive criticism.

**P** urple, like lavender. 

P **u** rple, like the grapes they tried to catch with their mouths. 

Pu **r** ple, like the bruises on Felix' collarbones - more like love bites.

Pur **p** le, like the first stripe of the rainbow.

Purp **l** e, like the magical moment when the sun goes down and the sky explodes in a mix of colors.

Purpl **e** , like the violets in front of his house.

"Yongbok!" 

A low growl left the freckled boy's throat. 

"I've told you a million times already", he sighed, "not to call me that." 

"What do you want?", he shouted back and lazily shifted his position on his bed. 

It was summer - summer break to be exact.

And Felix was bored. Very bored.

Changbin wasn't here yet and the younger boy just tried to survive the weeks until his friend would come.

"Yongbok!", his mother called again and Felix angrily teared open his door and ran downstairs.

"I fucking told you not to call me that!", he said through gritted teeth, "What the fuck do you want?"

His hair looked disheveled from laying in bed all day long and he was only wearing sweatpants.

"First of all, watch your language, young man", his mother said strictly.

He just rolled his eyes and yawned.

"You shouldn't talk to your mom like that, Lix", someone chuckled and Felix turned around his head so quickly, you could hear the bones in his neck crack.

"Hyung!"

Felix ran towards Changbin and literally jumped into his arms, hugging him tightly.

"You're back!", he exclaimed happily and kissed every inch of the shorter boy's face - but not his lips.

"I promised you, didn't I?", Changbin whispered into Felix' ear and kissed it afterwards.

"Yes, you promised me", Felix repeated and looked into Changbin's eyes, "what took you so long? I was bored."

"I'm sorry, Lix", the older boy said and put Felix back on his feet safely.

"At least you're here now." The younger boy's smile was the most beautiful smile Changbin had ever seen - even though he would never admit it, especially not in front of Felix.

"How long are you going to stay?", Felix asked and played with Changbin's fingers. He ignored his mom completely, who was well aware of their friendship - and how affectionate they were, but she didn't know about the benefits - and dragged the older boy into his room.

"I don't know. As long as my parents want to stay here. You know how easily they get bored from the countryside."

"Yeah...last time you only stayed for four days", Felix said pouting, searching for a t-shirt.

"You don't have to wear a t-shirt around me, Lix." The shorter boy chuckled and pulled Felix into his lap. A deep laughter emitted from the younger boy's lips and he laid his arms around Changbin's neck.

"Really? I don't think that would be smart", Felix said, smirking.

"Why wouldn't that be smart?" Changbin's hands roamed over Felix' upper body and he looked him into his eyes.

"Because you're a touchy person", Felix said and grabbed Changbin's hand, pulling them away from his waist, "and sometimes you can't behave yourself."

"Only when I'm around _you_."

Felix arched an eyebrow and giggled.

"You naughty boy."

A smirk appeared on Changbin's face and he said: "Maybe I am a naughty boy."

He slowly leaned in and placed his lips gently on Felix' collarbones, sucking his soft skin between his teeth, creating love bites.

_Purple love bites._

Felix had closed his eyes, enjoying the older boy's touch and had to chuckle.

"Why are you chuckling, baby?", Changbin asked and continued to kiss Felix' collarbones.

The younger boy shrugged and inhaled Changbin's scent.

"You smell like lavender, Hyung."

"Just for you", Changbin whispered and brushed over the younger boy's soft cheeks, admiring his freckles.

"You know", Felix said and snuggled up against Changbin's chest, "I always looked at the violets in front of your house and asked myself when you will come back."

He sighed and hugged the older boy tightly.

"I missed you, Binnie...so much."

"I missed you too, Lix."

"Please don't leave like the last time", the younger boy whispered, scared his voice would break if he used it, "in one minute you were here and in the next you were gone - so suddenly."

Changbin's arms held Felix' body tightly and his lips gently kissed the top of his head.

"I won't...I'm sorry, Lix."

Changbin and Felix had spent the whole day together and it was slowly getting dark outside.

The sky was changing it's colors from a light blue to an orange-red-purple-ish color in a magical spectacle - making the sky look like, as if someone had dropped his color palette onto a perfectly light blue canvas.

"Let's go outside, Hyung", Felix said, now wearing Changbin's hoodie.

He grabbed the older boy's hand and pulled him onto his feet. When they were children, they always claimed on top the roof and watched the sun going down, mesmerized by the color explosion.

Sometimes they took snacks with them and joked around, trying to catch each other while trying not to fall off the roof.

"Even though you fell off and broke your arm last time?", the older boy asked chuckling.

"Yup", Felix answered and opened his door, "because you would catch me, if I would fall, right?"

"Baby, you already fell for me", Changbin joked.

Felix blushed and tried to hide it behind a smile. "I didn't."

"You did."

"Yeah, I fell off the roof, but not for you, Binnie."

Obviously they were just fooling around. At least they thought so. The shorter boy was oblivious to the younger boy's feelings.

"That's why he's so dumb!", Felix' younger sister, Olivia, deadpanned as she walked past her brother's room.

"Hey!", the freckled boy complained.

Changbin laughed and run his fingers through his hair.

"Why are you laughing now?", Felix pouted and crossed his arms, looking like a hurt puppy.

"Because you're cute."

The younger boy's cheeks were tinted in a soft pink and he tried to hide it from he other boy, but Changbin had seen it nevertheless.

"Let's go", he mumbled and went in the direction of the kitchen, looking for something to eat.

Felix didn't know how the older boy would react if he confessed. And what scared him the most, was, that he could ruin their friendship - even though it had a few benefits. They were friends since they were little and Felix was afraid to lose Changbin.

The only thing he found in the kitchen, that was at least something sweet, were grapes. Felix cursed his sisters for always stealing away the snacks from the snack drawer and grabbed the package of grapes, not really noticing Changbin was watching him.

The younger boy was lost in his thoughts. Changbin has never called him cute before. 

Yes, they kiss each other - but they weren't a couple. They were friends. More like, friends with benefits, nothing more.

And even though Felix didn't want to admit it, he had developed feelings for the other boy.

"Lix, you okay?", Changbin asked when they were on the roof, watching the sun going down and the sky getting painted in different pastel colors.

The younger boy nodded and flicked a grape into the air, trying to catch it with his mouth, but Changbin snatched the grape away, eating it by himself. Felix didn't even complain.

He was still lost in his thoughts. Changbin's eyes never left the younger boy's face and he flicked another grape into the air.

"Felix", he sighed, "I know you since...practically my whole life. I know when something's off."

The taller boy looked up into the sky and sighed.

"M'just tired." Felix laid his head onto Changbin's shoulder and hugged the older boy's arm.

"Really?"

Felix nodded and had to yawn.

"Then sleep, cutie."


	2. blue

**B** lue, like the sky during midsummer.

B **l** ue, like the second stripe of the rainbow.

Bl **u** e, like the blueberry ice cream in Changbin's favourite ice cream salon. 

Blu **e** , like the hoodie _he_ was wearing.

It was typical for the sky in summer to be painted in a bright light blue and for the sun to rise at an inhumanly early hour - waking Felix up, who was slumbering in Changbin's arms.

Yesterday, he had convinced the older boy to sleep over since their houses were right next to each other and Changbin always needed something to hug when he sleeps Felix didn't need long to convince him. He was the perfect replacement for Gyu - just a little bit bigger and warmer.

"Stop moving so much, Lix", Changbin grumbled and held onto the taller boy even tighter. "But...I'm hot." Felix continued shifting and tried to get out of Changbin's hug.

"Yes you are and now shut up and c'mere. I want to sleep."

Felix blushed at the older boy's compliment and he was glad Changbin had his eyes closed. He always wondered if Changbin even noticed how his compliments messed with Felix' feelings - how much they affected him.

It was 5 a.m in the morning and once Felix has woken up, he wasn't able to get back to sleep anymore. A sigh escaped his lips and he stared up at the ceiling. Changbin's tight grip made it unable for Felix to get out of the blue hoodie he stole from the older boy yesterday.

"Hyung, I can't sleep anymore", he whispered.

"Of course you can't sleep when you're talking."

"But you know I can't fall asleep after I've woken up", the younger boy whined.

"Just try it, Lix."

"But I know it won't work."

Changbin just wanted to sleep but the younger boy continued talking and prevented him from his precious sleep. 

"Goddamnit", he sighed and turned into Felix' direction, grabbed his head and put it onto his chest, "listen to my heartbeat and try to sleep. Please."

A quiet squeak left Felix' lips and he quickly put his hands over his mouth. He knew the older boy was just in a sleepy state, but he didn't think he would do that.

"O-okay."

Felix closed his eyes and listened to Changbin's steady heartbeat, slowly calming down, even though his own heart was beating at a quick pace, and falling asleep.

The older boy's hand brushed through his soft hair but he had already fallen asleep again so he didn't notice it.

"Great...now I'm awake", Changbin grumbled and stared at Felix' head.

"Sometimes you're a pain in the ass, Lix", he whispered, "but there's something about you that makes me love you."

The shorter boy kept stroking the younger boy's head and a deep sigh left his lips. "Maybe it's your adorable smile, or your absolutely cute freckles, or your childish personality that doesn't fit your deep voice...I don't know. But whatever it is, it should stop. I can't love you...I shouldn't love you...and yet I'm here, loving you."

"I'm not supposed to fall in love with you, you cute dork."

The older boy was only able to say that because Felix had already fallen asleep. He would have never had the courage so say that directly into his face.

"It's so hot!", Felix complained and used his shirt as a fan. Changbin's gaze rested on him for a while, but the younger boy didn't notice it, and the older boy continued adoring Felix' features.

"What do you think about ice cream, Lix?", the older boy suggested and laughed as a wide grin appeared on the freckled boy's face.

"I think that is a very good idea", he giggled and wrapped his arms around him from behind, jumping on his back. "Carry me, Binnie!"

The older boy huffed and grabbed Felix' thighs to keep him steady. "But I won't carry you until we're at the ice cream salon...you're heavy."

"I'm not heavy, you're just weak", the younger boy said snickering and kissed Changbin's cheek to tease him.

"I'm weak, huh?", he asked and his tongue poked against the inside of his cheeks - he looked offended. "I'll show you how weak I am", he mumbled under his breath and walked even faster.

The younger boy got exactly what he wanted and had to smirk.

Changbin was so consumed in proving Felix that he wasn't weak that he didn't notice the younger boy's intention - carrying him the whole way to the ice cream salon.

Felix jumped off of Changbin's back once they've reached the ice cream salon and laughed.

"Why are you laughing, Lix?", the shorter boy asked and rolled up his sleeves.

"Because you actually carried me the whole way to the ice cream salon", the younger boy answered and opened the glass door of the salon, looking satisfied when he saw Changbin realizing that Felix had just used him because he didn't want to walk."

"I know you're not weak, Hyung. I mean, look at your arms", the freckled boy said and waited for Changbin to enter the ice cream salon, "I just wanted to test you."

"You li-", the older boy said through gritted teeth but got interrupted by a pair of soft lips.

"Don't call me little. I'm taller than you", Felix whispered and traced the other boy's jaw with his index finger, "and you can't stay mad at me for a long time. That was my revenge for your sudden disappearance last year."

"I already told you I was sorry." Changbin sighed and grabbed Felix' hand, that was still lingering on his jaw. He looked into the younger boy's eyes and caught him blushing as he held his hand in a public place - even though the younger boy had just kissed him on the lips.

Felix' sudden confidence was blown away with that little gesture.

"L-let's just order some ice cream", he stuttered out and walked inside the salon - still holding hands with Changbin because the older boy didn't let go of his hand. He enjoyed that moment way too much, even though he didn't want to admit it.

They often shared a quick kiss or tender touches - without talking about their feelings of course. All those benefits, like kissing, leaving hickeys on each others bodies or joking around with each other like a couple would do, came with time.

Until it felt natural to do that.

"One blueberry ice cream please", Changbin ordered.

"T-two, please", Felix added and tried to ignore his way too fast beating heart - caused by Changbin's touch. He didn't even know why his heart was beating so fast. He was used to the older boy being very touchy towards him.

As they had received their cones with blueberry ice cream and had paid for it they searched for a place to sit.

The shorter boy dragged him to a small table at the window and gently pushed Felix into the chair before he sat down on the chair in front of the younger boy.

An awkward silence has spread between the two of them and neither of them knew how to break it.

Finally, Changbin spoke up and grabbed a tissue, to wipe away the ice cream that ran down Felix' fingers. "You have to lick faster."

"This sounds so wrong, Hyung", Felix said and arched an eyebrow.

"I know", Changbin said smirking and the younger boy choked on his ice cream cone.

"Hyung!" The freckled boy's cheeks were covered in a deep red and he looked like a human tomato. "Don't say that, we're in public!"

"You kissed me just a few minutes ago", the older boy said shrugging and continued to eat his ice cream. He didn't have any melted ice cream on his fingers, because he was smart enough to eat the ice cream with a little plastic spoon - and faster. 

"But a kiss and dirty talk in public are two different things!", Felix whisper-yelled and had to cough a few times. Changbin gently patted his back and ordered some water.

"I'm sorry, I just had to", he apologized, still smiling and opened the water bottle for the younger boy.

"I don't believe you", Felix pouted and drank a sip of water, "you never really mean it when you're smiling."

"Has anyone ever told you that you are irresistibly cute when you're sulking?", the older boy suddenly said and caught Felix off guard.

"Uhm...you just did."

"That doesn't count", Changbin said.

"Oh...then I guess nobody ever has. Who would call me cute anyways? I'm a boy", Felix said and laughed nervously.

"As you said, I just did."

"And you said that didn't count", Felix deadpanned and ate the rest of his ice cream cone.

Changbin sighed frustrated and rested his chin on his hand.

"You're pretty complicated too."

The younger boy giggled and Changbin admired every wrinkle on his face as he smiled widely.


	3. green

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really sorry, I forgot to post this chapter. I hope everyone that read the story before I posted this chapter wasn't too confused ^^'
> 
> Now it should make sense uwu

**G** reen, like the trees in the background of the rain. 

G **r** een, like the third stripe of the rainbow.

Gr **e** en, like the plants in Felix' room.

Gre **e** n, like the call button on a phone.

Gree **n** , like the freshly cut grass in _his_ front yard.

Every time Changbin came to his family's summer house with his parents and his younger sister, there was at least one day he couldn't spend with Felix.

First of all, because his parents didn't want him to spend all his time with the younger boy, knowing their son was gay, and not liking it at all - in any case they were doing something inappropriate.

Which they were totally doing.

If Changbin's parents would know what the two boys were doing when they were alone they would never come back again and they would probably sell the house.

And the second reason being Changbin's father wanting him to take over his company one day and wants his son to meet a few business partner of him.

He always hated it when his dad dragged him along to those business meetings - even when it was summer break. He had to wear a suit and he absolutely hated wearing suits. He preferred ripped jeans and a comfy t-shirt.

And today was one of those days.

But fortunately the shorter boy's father's business partner were invited to a dinner at Changbin's family's house.

He still had to wear a suit though.

It had started to rain around noon and his father was quick enough to mow the lawn in the morning.

The grass in the front yard was shining in a bright green color and complimented the house in the background in every way possible. The flowers, especially the violets, made everything look extra pretty.

During those dinners Changbin's father was very strict about his son using his cell phone. He said it was disrespectful to other people. Changbin knew that but he hated this meetings - so he used it on purpose.

Felix had already guessed it was 'dinner-day' again, since Changbin didn't answer his messages.

The older boy had just sent a short apology to make the other boy less worried since they have spent every single day together.

 **Changbin:**  
m'sorry lix. It's dinner day

The younger boy was sure he wouldn't see Changbin that day, so he decided to help his mom to clean up the house - he liked to clean the house. It was calming and he could distract himself from thinking of Changbin who was probably wearing a suit again.

Felix had seen the older boy wear a suit only once - and he wanted to see him again in one.

He just looked darn hot in a suit, but he hadn't told the shorter boy - obviously. That would have been too much of a good thing, even for their 'friends with benefits' agreement.

The freckled boy was so caught up in his thoughts that he didn't notice his mom right in front of him and ran into her.

"Hey, watch out", she said smiling and patted Felix' hair.

"Uh...sorry, mom", he mumbled and let himself fall onto the sofa in the living room.

How could he only think about Changbin? 

It was never that bad before, even though he could only see him during summer, but the older boy had never consumed Felix' mind so much before. 

Right, because he was in love with him.

The freckled boy's mind was full of the shorter boy.

Changbin here, Changbin there.

"Felix, move your fat ass. Other people want to sit on the sofa too", his sister complained and rolled him over.

This time, he didn't even start a fight like he would usually do - and surprised his sister with that. 

"No _I'm not fat, you're fat yourself, Watch your mouth, I'm older than you_ or _How dare you talk to me like that_ today?", Olivia asked surprised and crossed her legs.

Her brother shook his head and hugged a pillow. He wished Changbin to be here now really bad - just for a hug.

"Are you thinking about your lover?", she teased and leaned closer to her brother.

"What?", Felix asked confused, "Shut up, Liv. He isn't my lover!" 

"Those hickeys on your neck are telling me otherwise", she snickered and pointed at his neck.

Fuck.

Had they been visible the whole time? Why didn't Changbin tell him?

"Are you two da-"

Felix panicked and clasped his hands over her mouth in order to shut her up.

He must have looked like a frightened deer, because his sister actually stopped talking and her face softened.

She grabbed his arm and dragged him upstairs, into his room.

"You like him", Olivia simply said and crossed her arms.

Felix didn't answer - he didn't even deny it.

"Of course you like him", she laughed and sat down next to her brother, who was sitting on the floor, "it's obvious."

"How...?" The boy's voice was merely above a whisper - as if he was scared his sister would hate him.

"You don't need to be scared, Lix. It's okay", she said and hugged her brother, "I was just joking around...but according to your reaction there must be something between the two of you."

Felix didn't answer and the only sound filling the silence, was the rain pattering against the windowpane.

"Yeah...I like him", he finally said and hugged his knees, staring at the floor. His usual bright smile being replaced by a dull expression, "but I shouldn't."

"I knew it", Olivia whispered to herself and wrapped her arms around her brother, "but why shouldn't you like him? Because you're a boy? Lix, if you think so I have to tell you, and please excuse my language, that you are the dumbest teenager I have ever met in my life and I refuse to tell anyone we are related to each other. It's 2020. Live your life how you want it."

The freckled boy glared at his sister.

"It's not because I'm a boy...wait, it is because I'm a boy", he said and sighed. "And there is something between us...it's just nothing more than friends with benefits. And that will never change."

Olivia frowned. "How do you know it won't change?"

"Because, first of all, his parents know he's gay and they don't want us to spend all our time together, fearing he'd make me gay too, for which it is too late already", he said with a bitter laugh, "and second...I don't want to ruin our friendship. What if I mess up and he's mad at me?"

Tears had started to build in his eyes, just waiting for him to blink to roll down his freckled cheeks.

"I don't see the problem."

"Are you serious? I just told you that I'll never be able to tell the person I love that I have feelings for them and you have the audacity to say, that there's no problem? What is wrong with you, Liv?", Felix said angrily. 

Now the freckled boy was crying.

Crying, because he wished everything could be as easy as his sister had just said - but it wasn't that easy, and it never will.

"So you are in love with him?"

"Of course I am", Felix sobbed, "you said it yourself."

"Lix..." Olivia felt sorry for her brother, even though they were always fighting, but right now she just felt really sorry for him.

She had never seen him like this before - so heartbroken. Usually he was the person who brought the sun to someone and takes the sun away with them when he leaves the room. He always hid his feelings behind a wide smile.

"But have you seen how he looks at you?", the younger girl tried to cheer her brother up.

"How should he look at me, Liv? He probably sees me as a childish boy, who clings to him too much...", Felix grumbled and wiped away his tears angrily.

"Why are you always so blind?", Olivia whined and cupped Felix' face in her hands, "Listen, Lix. You know me very well to know, that I usually am not nice to you, but please just open your eyes. You can hit me afterwards, if he rejects you, but just ask him out. Asking doesn't hurt, you know?"

"Prepare yourself to get hit." Felix had to laugh quietly, even though he had just been crying.

Nevermind how often he had a fight with his sister, she always managed to make him feel better.

"Nope, because it won't happen. Believe in yourself", she said, smiling.

Felix was sitting on his windowsill and looked at his plants. They were just small plants, but at least they brought a little bit of color into the freckled boy's room.

The rain was still pouring outside, but the sound was calming and it was a nice change compared to the hot days.

It was silent since Olivia had left his room, but the silence was gone as the ringtone of his cell phone went off.

He immediately knew who was calling him, since it was a special ringtone.

It was Changbin.

His index finger hovered over the green call button. Should he pick up the phone or not?

The call ended not long after and he got a message. 

**Changbin:**  
lix, please pick up the phone. I can see you sitting at your window

Felix almost dropped his phone and looked outside the window. And there he was, in all his glory - a black suit, and looking up to him.

The older boy called again and this time Felix picked up the phone.

"Hey, baby." Changbin's voice was as calming as always and the younger boy could feel himself smiling.

Smiling at the boy he had cried for not long ago.

"Why are you calling me 'baby' lately?", Felix asked nervously and rearranged the small plant pots in front of him.

He didn't dare to look outside of the window. He was scared the other boy could see him blushing - which was ridiculous, since it was raining outside and Changbin could barely see Felix' silhouette.

"Because I want to."

The shorter boy wanted to see the freckled boy's face and said: "Could you please open your window? I want to see your face better."

"Why?"

"Because your face is worth looking at", Changbin smirked and waved as Felix had opened his window.

"Why are you complimenting me so much?", the younger boy asked hesitantly and peeked outside the window.

"I don't know...why are you asking so many questions?"

Felix remained silent.

"Lix, listen", Changbin said, "you know that my dad will freak out, when I talk to you for too long. I'm sorry, that I can't come over today. So...I'll make it up to you, okay?"

"How?", Felix asked with a pout on his soft lips.

"You'll see, beautiful."

"Argh, stop calling me that!"

"Nope."

Felix hung up with a rather cute huff and stared at the older boy.

"Why do you look so fucking hot in a suit?", the freckled boy sighed.

"I don't know. I hate wearing suits", Changbin chuckled and Felix stared at his phone, "but if you say so, I'll wear them more often. Just for you to suffer."

He hadn't hung up. He had just put the older boy on speaker.

"I-i didn-"

The younger boy got interrupted by Changbin.

"Hey, calm down. It's okay, baby."

"Don't call me baby, Hyung..."

"Why not?"

"Because it makes me feel things I shouldn't be hoping for."


	4. yellow

**Y** ellow, like the rays of sunshine kissing their skin.

Y **e** llow, like the awful looking swimming trunks Felix had to wear.

Ye **l** low, like the bees flying around flowers.

Yel **l** ow, like the fourth stripe of the rainbow.

Yell **o** w, like the middle of daisies.

Yello **w** , like the sun shining down on his freckles, emphasizing them.

It was kind of awkward between the two boys after that suit incident. 

Felix didn't dare to say a word to the older boy.

They were in the freckled boy's room, just laying around.

Well, Felix tried to distract himself with a comic and Changbin was playing on his phone, glancing at the younger boy from time to time.

"I can't stand this", he complained, after what seemed like forever. He put his phone away and walked over to Felix, taking the comic out of his hands.

"Hey! I was reading that", the younger boy whined and looked into Changbin's eyes - only to quickly look away afterwards.

Changbin sighed. 

"Why are you avoiding my eyes? Why aren't you talking to me, Lix?", he asked and sat down on the younger boy's bed next to Felix, "Is it because of what happened two days ago?"

Felix didn't answer.

He didn't want to meet Changbin yesterday and asked his sister to tell Changbin he wasn't feeling very well - he just couldn't talk with him.

"Is that a yes?"

The older boy sighed frustrated and gently put a finger under Felix' chin to turn his head into his direction, since the younger boy refused to look at him.

"D-don't do that..."

"What? I'm not even allowed to touch you?", Changbin asked and looked hurt.

"Sorry, Hyung..."

"What are you sorry about, Lix?", the older boy asked and brushed his hand through the freckled boy's soft hair.

"For ignoring you...?"

"Is that a question?"

"I don't know...everything is complicated now and you probably hate me for ruining what we had", Felix whispered and fiddled with his fingers.

"If you mean the opposite feeling of hate you're right", Changbin said smirking , "and what do you mean with you ruined what we had? What do you think we had?"

"Friendship with benefits."

"Do you really think it was only friendship with benefits, Lix?", Changbin asked and scooted closer to the other boy.

Felix gulped and glanced at Changbin.

"What about your feelings?", he whispered and took Felix' smaller hands into his own, bigger ones, "What about my feelings?"

"What about my feelings? My feelings are out of place in this situation", the younger boy finally said and looked at Changbin.

"Why? What is wrong about having feelings for someone?"

Felix didn't even have to confess - the older boy already knew how Felix was feeling about him and he couldn't be happier about it.

"It ruins friendships", the younger boy said and was on the verge of tears, feeling a lump in his throat.

"Then why don't we turn that friendship into a relationship?"

Felix eyes widened.

"B-but your parents. They-"

"I don't give a shit about what my parents say, okay? The only thing that matters right now is you - us."

"And what if I mess up, Binnie?", Felix asked.

"Why are you afraid of messing up?"

"Because I'm childish...?" The younger boy's answer was more a question itself than an answer.

"And what if I like you being childish?"

Changbin let go of Felix' hands and cupped his face with his soft hands instead. He forced the younger boy gently to look at him and smiled at him.

"It wouldn't work out anyways", the younger boy said quietly, "you'll be gone before the summer is over."

He was right with that - and Changbin knew he was right.

"But I love you."

Felix' heart skipped a beat at those words and he could feel the blush rising up on his cheeks.

"But-"

"No _but_ , Felix. I ask you to accept my feelings for you. I want to be more than just friends with benefits with you. Yes, you are my friend, the best I've ever had, but I want to be more than just a friend to you. I want to be your boyfriend."

"How can you say that so easily?", the younger boy whispered and looked into Changbin's eyes.

"Say what?"

"Can I be your boyfriend?"

"Yes, you can", the older boy said smiling and waited for the younger boy to realize what he had just said.

"Binnie! That's not funny." Felix hit the other boy's shoulder lightly and earned a laughter from him.

" _Now_ it is funny", he said and caressed the freckled boy's cheek with his thumb.

"It's not", Felix said and bit his plump lip.

Changbin sighed and shook his head.

"Have I already told you that you are complicated?"

"Yes, when we were in the ice cream salon", the younger boy said and a tiny smile graced his lips.

"And have I ever told you, that your smile is my most favorite thing in this world?"

"Stop being cheesy, Hyung. Please", Felix laughed.

The older boy was relieved that the freckled boy was his usual bright self again.

"And your freckles too", Changbin added and pulled Felix into his lap, making the younger boy gasp.

"S-stop..."

Changbin didn't listen to Felix' weak attempt to stop him from kissing his freckles - one by one. And the last place his lips touched, being Felix' lips.

The younger boy responded the kiss hesitantly and put his arms around Changbin's neck - it was their last kiss being friends with benefits and their first kiss not being friends with benefits anymore.

"Be my boyfriend", Changbin whispered in-between their kisses.

"Okay", Felix answered and pushed the other boy onto his back.

"Really?", the older boy asked excitedly and placed his hands on Felix' hips.

A smirk appeared on the younger boy's lips and he just kissed the older boy as an answer.

"Where is the insecure boy who refused to let me touch him?", Changbin teased.

Felix pouted and shifted into a sitting position on top of Changbin. "Why did you ruin the moment?"

"I'm sorry, baby. I was just happy that you're smiling again."

The younger boy giggled and said: "I mean, I can get him back, if you want me to."

"No!", Changbin exclaimed and grabbed the younger boy's wrist, pulling him back into his arms, "I was just joking around."

"I know", the freckled boy giggled.

"If you know that, then kiss your boyfriend."

It had gotten really hot in the early afternoon and the boys decided to go swimming in the pool of Felix' back yard.

Unfortunately, Felix didn't have a single pair of swimming trunks that fit him, because he had grown so much, except for one, really awful looking, yellow one.

He had no other choice but to wear that one.

Changbin had already changed into his swimming trunks and was waiting for his boyfriend.

He grew impatient when Felix didn't come out of his room after ten minutes.

"Lix, are you done changing? I wanna jump into the pool", he whined and knocked on the younger boy's door.

"I'm almost done!", Felix replied and watched himself turn left and right in front of the mirror. He wasn't satisfied with what he was seeing. The yellow of the swimming trunks looked like vomit and he thought his arms were too skinny compared to Changbin's.

"What is taking you so long? Do you need help changing?", the older boy teased and leaned against the door.

"No, I don't", Felix snapped and jerked his door open, making Changbin fall into his arms.

"Oh, hello there", Changbin said with wiggling eyebrows and Felix just rolled his eyes.

He crossed his arms to hide his chest and blushed under Changbin's judging gaze.

"Geez...can you please stop staring already and tell me how terrible I look?"

"You look terribly good, baby."

Felix didn't really look convinced and played with the fabric of the swimming trunk. "Really?"

"Yes, you do."

The younger boy sighed and looked into the mirror for the last time.

"And it doesn't matter how you look like, because it's just us, right?", the shorter boy said and picked him up bridal style - causing Felix to squeak a little.

"I can walk by myself, Binnie. I'm not a baby", the freckled boy said with a pout on his lips.

"You're my baby."

That sentence shut him up and he let Changbin carry him outside.

"Please don't throw me into the pool, Hyung", the younger boy said and clung to the older boy.

"Well, I wasn't thinking about throwing you inside, until you've mentioned it", Changbin chuckled.

"Oh god...please don't do it, I'm begging you!"

The older boy smirked and went to the edge of the pool.

"Changbin."

Felix' eyes were pleading the shorter boy to not throw him into the water. 

And then he jumped.

Felix screamed and Changbin laughed - but both noises went silent when their heads were underwater.

The younger boy freed himself from the older boy's grip and swam away.

"You're a meanie", he said and crossed his arms when his head was above the water surface again.

Changbin chuckled and cooed at his boyfriend's cuteness.

"And you're a cutie", he said and pulled the younger boy closer to him.

Felix turned his head to the side when Changbin tried to kiss him.

"Felix, please...", Changbin begged and placed his hands on Felix' hips.

"No. You jumped into the pool", the younger boy said and still turned his head to the other side every time the older boy would try to kiss him, "and I begged you to not jump while I was in your arms." 

"Binnie-Binnie is sorry", the shorter boy said with a cute voice and took Felix off guard. He didn't expect him to do aegyo.

"Did you just-"

"Yup.

"You won't do that again, right?"

"Never...maybe. Who knows?"

Felix cupped Changbin's face and kissed him passionately - surprising the older boy, who responded quickly and closed his eyes, enjoying the kiss.

A lot of water fights and kisses later Changbin and Felix decided that getting dried by the sun was the most relaxing option and they laid down on the two towels that they had put onto the grass beforehand.

Surrounded by daisies, they had closed their eyes and let the warm rays of the sun dry their skin and hair. 

Changbin wanted to look at Felix though.

And he did.

He watched the sun shining down at his beautiful boyfriend - emphasizing each and every freckle on his face, kissing his honey like skin.

"I can feel you staring, Binnie. "

The older boy laughed quietly and brushed his fingers through Felix' almost dried hair.

"Well, I like what I see", Changbin whispered and smiled.

The younger boy giggled and turned his head to the left, shielding his eyes from the sun with one hand and pulling Changbin closer towards him with the other.

"Being your boyfriend feels just right, you know?"

"I know, stupid. I've told you", the older boy snickered and connected their lips.

After a few minutes they heard someone applauding and turned around, seeing Olivia on the terrace.

Felix turned into a blushing mess immediately, of course, and Changbin smiled.

"Get lost, Liv!"

"Hey, don't talk to me like that", she grumbled, "I was the one who talked with that handsome...well _boyfriend_ of yours. So you should be the one telling me _Thank you, oh so great Olivia, for helping my lonely ass to finally get a boyfriend. And a handsome one too_ instead of telling me to get lost."

"Don't call him handsome!", Felix said and hugged Changbin's head, pulling him against his chest in a protective way.

"Am I not handsome?", Changbin asked puzzled.

"Of course you are", Felix said and glared at his sister, "but I'm the only one who's allowed to say that, especially when my sister looks at you, like she wants to steal you away from me."

"Aww...Lix, you're so cute", Changbin cooed and kissed Felix' cheek.

"I just wanted to tell you, that mom and dad are planning to have a barbecue tomorrow. The whole neighborhood is invited."

"Okay, thanks. Now get lost", Felix said and shooed her away with a hand motion.

When Olivia finally left, Changbin looked at Felix, who had started to pick daisies.

"Why are you looking at me so intensely?", the younger boy asked and his cheeks heated up again.

"I've already told you. Because I like what I see."

Felix smacked Changbin's shoulder lightly and started to make a flower crown with the daisies.

"Be careful with the bees", the older boy warned him and carefully shooed them away when they came too close to the freckled boy's face.

Fortunately, nobody got stung by a bee.

"Lix?", Changbin asked and watched as Felix continued to make the flower crown.

"Hm?"

"Do you remember what I've promised you two days ago?"

"What do you mean, Hyung?", the younger boy asked and looked very concentrated, while he was making that crown.

"I promised you, that I'd make it up to you", Changbin said and Felix stopped to make the crown for a moment, to look at the other boy.

"Well...asking me, no, _begging_ me to let you be my boyfriend was definitely quite something", the younger boy chuckled and continued to braid the daisies into a crown.

Changbin had to laugh and smiled like a fool - a fool madly in love.

"I'm done!", the younger boy happily exclaimed after a few minutes and smiled widely.

"With what?"

"Your crown, idiot", the freckled boy giggled and leaned over to Changbin, to proudly put the crown on his head.

"My crown?", Changbin asked and carefully touched the flower crown with his fingers.

"Yes, your crown. You're my prince now."

Changbin chuckled and his eyes were showing pure love when he looked at the younger boy.

"I can be anything for you, baby", the older boy said and gently placed his hand on Felix' cheek, "just kiss me please."


	5. orange

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Underage drinking
> 
> Although they don't get wasted, they just get a little tipsy. But I don't really know how to put this warning, because it's different from every country/region; but I'll leave this here for anyone who needs it.

**O** range, like the light in the lanterns of Felix' back yard.

O **r** ange, like a Vodka Orange. 

Or **a** nge, like the ink pen Changbin always wrote with. 

Ora **n** ge, like the fifth stripe of the rainbow. 

Oran **g** e, like the dawn.

Orang **e** , like the Cheetos that were supposed to be for the barbecue - but _he_ ate them.

"Yongbok! Help your sister with the lanterns!"

"I'm busy!", he replied and hoped, his mother wouldn't come inside his room to get his lazy ass out to help for preparing the barbecue.

With 'busy' he meant Changbin kissing him and wanting to undress him, which he wanted to avert, since they weren't alone.

"Hyung, stop", he groaned, "I swear to god!"

The older boy chuckled and kept leaving a trace of hickeys on Felix' neck and collarbones.

Felix whined and pulled at Changbin's hair to stop him.

"I told you to stop", he warned the shorter boy and his cheeks were tinted in a pink color and his hair looked disheveled from their short make out.

"Uh, kinky." The older boy wiggled with his eyebrows.

The younger boy gave him his most annoyed look and rearranged his clothes.

"If you don't stop teasing me all the time, you won't get any kisses at night."

"You won't kiss me all day long?"

"Are you crazy? As if I'd survive the whole day without kissing you", Felix said and tried to make his hair look normal again.

Changbin laughed and looked at Felix as if he was a snack.

His mom called him again and Felix sighed.

"I'm coming!"

He had told the older boy to wait for him and ran downstairs. His sister was already waiting for him and smirked as she saw how he looked like.

"Did mom interrupt you while you were doing something important?", she teased and gave him most of the lanterns.

"No, she didn't", he said and blushed, "and why are you giving me all the lanterns? I can't carry all of them. One might break."

He really struggled to hold all the lanterns. Fortunately his knight in shimmering armor appeared.

Well, he wasn't wearing a shimmering armor - he was actually wearing shorts and a t-shirt.

"Give this to me, baby", Changbin said and grabbed most of the lanterns, giving Felix a soft kiss on his cheek.

"I could've done that myself", Felix pouted and followed the older boy into the garden.

He couldn't stop himself from watching how Changbin's muscles flexed as he put down the lanterns.

"What are you staring at, Lix?"

Felix blushed and quickly looked away. "N-nothing."

Changbin smirked and hugged the younger boy from behind. "I know you were staring at me", he whispered into Felix' ear, causing him to shiver, "you always stutter when you're lying or shy."

"Ugh...why do you know me so well?", the younger boy complained and leaned against Changbin.

The older boy snickered and shrugged.

"Why are you so cute?"

"I'm not."

"Yes you are", Changbin insisted.

"Why?"

"Because I say so."

They were in their own little world and didn't notice Felix' younger sister standing behind them until she cleared her throat.

"You guys can be all lovey-dovey in my brother's room, because I don't think you want to ruin Jeongin's innocence", she said.

"Whose innocence?", Felix asked confused and turned around to see a boy standing on the terrace.

"Hey, I'm Jeongin", the boy introduced himself, smiling brightly and revealing his braces.

"Uhm...he's a friend of me, and I don't want him to see you two making out", Olivia stated, "and you should close your bedroom door when your boyfriend is here, Lix."

She winked and went inside again, the young looking boy in tow.

"Well...I'd say we go inside too. I don't want my mom to see us and give us more work", Felix said and looked at Changbin, who smiled fondly at him.

"Why are you smiling?"

"Am I not allowed to smile, Lix?", the older boy asked laughing. 

"Yes, you are but not in such a creepy way, Binnie."

Changbin rolled his eyes. "Ask me _why_ I was smiling. If you know, you wouldn't say it looks creepy."

"Okay, why were you smiling?"

"Because your sister called me _your boyfriend_."

Felix frowned. "You _are_ my boyfriend...?"

The older boy sighed. "But it just felt great being called your boyfriend."

Felix blushed at that comment and looked at their feet.

"L-let's go inside."

They went inside the house and Felix grabbed a package of Cheetos from the kitchen counter as soon as he saw them - their mother never bought them, except when they had a barbecue.

"Mom will kill you, if she finds out you stole the Cheetos, that were supposed to be for the barbecue", Olivia called from the living room.

"What mom doesn't know won't hurt her...", Felix said with a devilish grin.

"What won't hurt me if I don't know it?"

Their mother has appeared in the kitchen and Felix almost let the Cheetos bag fall onto the ground.

"N-nothing, mom." Felix quickly hid the bag behind his back.

She arched an eyebrow and pointed at his arm. "And what is that behind your back?"

"My hand", Changbin said, grabbed Felix' hand and showed his mom.

She just nodded and the two boys went upstairs. After Felix had closed his door he sank on the floor and exhaled.

"That was close, thanks", he said and laughed, opening the Cheetos bag.

"No problem", the older boy chuckled and sat down next to his boyfriend, "but you know I want to have more than just a simple thank you, baby."

"I know", Felix replied, his mouth full of Cheetos - he looked like a squirrel and the older boy had to laugh.

"What, do you want a kiss now or not?", he asked and pouted. He climbed onto Changbin's lap and looked at him.

He leaned in and wanted to kiss him, but the shorter boy shook his head and put his index fingers on Felix' lips.

"Swallow first", he said and the younger boy's cheeks resembled a ripe tomato.

He started coughing and his face got even more red.

"H-hyung!", he whined and hit the older boy's chest, who was laughing, "stop being such a p-pervert!"

"I'm not a pervert", Changbin snickered, "you're just the one who thinks like a pervert."

Felix didn't know how to answer that, because Changbin was right in some way, and hid his face in the crook of the older boy's neck.

They cuddled for a bit, Felix still munching his Cheetos and Changbin brushed his fingers through his hair.

"I love you", the older boy whispered and smiled.

Felix sat up and looked into Changbin's eyes. 

"I love you too, Hyung."

Jeongin, the poor boy, was told to get Felix and Changbin because other guests were coming.

He knocked at the door and heard a humming sound, causing him to open the door and see the two boys kissing.

The youngest boy in the room blushed madly and said: "U-uhm...I-i was told t-to come a-and get you."

Felix turned around to see the younger boy and got shy.

Changbin sighed and spoke for him. "We'll be down in a bit."

"And please don't tell anyone", the older boy added and winked.

Jeongin's face got even more red and he stumbled backwards, leaving the other two boys in Felix' room.

"I think your sister will kill us", Changbin said and sat up, that the younger boy could at least make himself a bit more presentable before they went downstairs.

"Only if he tells her", Felix said and huffed as he looked into the mirror, "do you always have to make me look like a mess?"

"A hot mess."

Felix rolled his eyes and smacked the older boy's shoulder.

"Shut up, Binnie, we need to get downstairs or otherwise my mom will chop off my head."

The older boy chuckled and left a soft kiss on the freckled boy's cheek.

"You should hide that hickey on your neck", he whispered an left Felix' room.

The younger boy looked at the purple bruises on his neck in disbelieve and a little whine left his lips.

"Seo Changbin...you're dead."

It looked like, as if Felix' parents had invited the whole neighborhood.

People where standing everywhere and talked with each other - mostly adults, but there were a few teenagers too.

Jeongin was with Olivia and he still had a blush on his cheeks.

As soon as the girl had spotted her brother her smile became to a glare and she ran towards him.

"What did you do to Jeongin? He looks like he had witnessed you two doing...adult things. Please don't tell me he caught you naked, doing things and-"

Felix interrupted his sister by putting his hands over her mouth. He was as red as Jeongin. 

"Oh my god, stop saying that!", he whisper-yelled and dragged her away from the people.

"We were only kissing...", he mumbled.

"And what is that?", Olivia said and pointed at her brother's neck.

"Nothing."

"Oh, _nothing_ is the new word for _hickey_. I'll remember that", she said and laughed sarcastically.

"Just...shut up and go back to your friend", Felix said and crossed his arms, pouting.

She sighed and left him alone - his eyes searching for his boyfriend, but he couldn't find him.

"Are you looking for someone?", someone asked and the freckled boy turned around to see a boy.

A beautiful boy to be honest.

He had a small mole under his left eye and his lips formed a warm smile.

"Uhm...actually yes", Felix said smiled back.

"Maybe I can help you", the boy said, "my name is Hyunjin, by the way."

"Felix", the freckled boy said.

"Who are you looking for, Felix?"

"Uhm..."

He wasn't sure, if he could tell the other boy he was looking for his boyfriend. First of all, he didn't know how he would react to the fact that he was gay and second reason being that Changbin's parents were here somewhere.

"A friend. He's shorter than me and his face looks like a Dorito", Felix described him and made Hyunjin laugh.

"Do you perhaps mean Changbin Hyung?"

"Yes, how did you know?"

"Because he's a friend of Jisung", the other boy said and grabbed Felix' hand, looking for the freckled boy's boyfriend and his friend.

It didn't take them long to find them. There were other people too and it was the first time for Felix to meet Changbin's friends.

"Hey guys, I found another lost puppy", Hyunjin joked and laid an arms around the freckled boy.

"That lost puppy is mine", Changbin said and snatched Felix out of the other boy's grip.

Hyunjin laughed.

"Don't worry, I just helped him out to find his... _boyfriend_."

"Well, do you mind introducing him to us, Changbinnie?", another boy with chubby cheeks asked - he would definitely look like a squirrel if he was eating, even more than Felix, when he ate Cheetos. 

"Sure, Jisung." 

Changbin pushed the freckled boy gently in front of him, still holding his hand. 

Six other boys watched him and Felix felt uncomfortable under their gaze. 

"Guys, this lost puppy is Felix. My boyfriend, so get your dirty hands and eyes off him", Changbin said and the rest of the boys laughed. 

"Don't worry", Jisung said, "not everybody is gay like you." 

"Says the one who has a boyfriend too", one of the boys said and laid an arm around Jisung. 

"Shut up, Minho", he grumbled and the boy who hugged him from the side kissed him on the cheek.

"Yeah yeah, baby."

After a few hours the sun was slowly disappearing and replaced by the moon and the stars. 

The lanterns provided a warm, orange light and painted the garden in a soft atmosphere. 

The eight boys had bonded in the last few hours and it seemed as if they've known each other since they were little babies - except for the ones who actually knew each other since then.

Jeongin has joined them as the hours have passed and they were joking around.

"I'm thirsty", Chan complained and threw another stone in the direction of the lanterns.

They have started to play a game - the one who gets to damage one of the lanterns first has the chance to choose someone to get food and something to drink.

Chan actually hit one of the lanterns and the light went out.

"Jeonginnie, I choose you to be our food carrier for now", he said smiling and the youngest boy groaned.

"It has always to be me..."

Changbin and Felix were cuddling on one of the garden chairs next to Minho and Jisung, who were joking around.

The shorter boy wrote something down in a notebook with an orange ink pen - the ink pen looked old and had already a few cracks.

"Binnie, what are you writing?", the freckled boy asked quietly and cuddled with the other even more.

Their legs were entangled and Changbin had an arm wrapped around the younger boy.

"Nothing important, Lix", the older boy said, "just the thoughts I have in mind. Who knows, maybe you'll get a letter once."

"Why a letter?"

"Because you are all I'm thinking about."

Changbin looked into Felix' eyes and the younger boy blushed madly.

"You're cute", the shorter boy whispered and kissed the freckled boy's cheek.

Felix only whined and hid his face in Changbin's chest.

Jeongin came back with a bowl full of snacks after a few minutes. He struggled to hold the bowl while he walked through the bushes - they didn't want to stay with the adults so Felix showed them his favourite spot to hide when he was a little child.

"Food!", Woojin happily exclaimed and helped Jeongin to hold the bowl steadily.

"And where are our drinks?", Chan asked pouting.

"Oh...I forgot them. I'll be right back", he said and disappeared behind the trees again.

"I hope he doesn't get something with orange juice", Felix mumbled but nobody heard him.

Jeogin came back with orange juice.

"I don't think we should drink that", Felix said and only Changbin heard him, since he was right next to him.

"Why not, baby?"

"Because-", he started but got interrupted by Jeongin who was busy spitting out the orange juice.

"Ew!", he said and his face looked like, as if he had bitten into a slice of lemon, "That orange juice isn't good anymore..."

Changbin grabbed the package and sniffed at the opening.

"Smells like alcohol."

"I've told you you shouldn't drink it", the freckled boy said.

Changbin grinned and took a sip.

He wanted to be cool in front of his boyfriend.

"Hyung, don't!" Felix sighed and shook his head.

As soon as Changbin had swallowed the sip he had the same facial expression as Jeongin.

"There's too much Vodka in it", he said and gave Chan the Vodka Orange.

The older boy just shrugged and took a sip.

"It's fine", he said and continued drinking it.

"I won't kiss you now, you know that, right?", Felix said to Changbin - by now he was sitting on the older boy's lap and his head was laying on his shoulder.

"No, I didn't know", the shorter boy said and caressed the freckles boy's cheek with his thumb, "why?"

"Because you'll taste of alcohol", the younger boy whined.

Changbin chuckled and placed a kiss on Felix cheek.

"But you could kiss the taste away."

Felix didn't look convinced and Changbin leaned towards him.

"Hyung, no", the younger boy said and leaned backwards - almost falling off Changbin's lap.

"Come on, Lix. It's just a kiss."

Felix shook his head and turned his head to the side.

"No!"

The older boy laughed and grabbed his boyfriend's chin with a gentle grip and kissed him.

At first, Felix tried to break the kiss but he soon gave in to the soft feeling of Changbin's lips on his own.

The older boy pulled away as they both needed some fresh air to breath and Felix had his arms wrapped around Changbin's neck.

"I thought you didn't want to kiss me", Changbin teased.

The younger boy's cheeks were tinted in a soft pink and he smiled shyly.

"And I thought I could resist your lips."

The barbecue came to an end around midnight and Changbin's parents were searching for their son.

The nine boys still were in the freckled boy's favourite hideout and apparently have emptied the bottle of orange juice - even though there was Vodka in it.

Their cheeks had a slight tint of red and they laughed louder than they would have when they were sober.

Their hunger brought them back to the house and they searched for food.

Both, Changbin and Felix, were a little bit tipsy and that made them less careful about holding hands and little kisses, even though Changbin's parents were around somewhere.

It was only a harmless kiss on the cheek and their hands holding onto each other when the older boy's parents had spotted them.

The boys were giggling innocently and Changbin caressed Felix' cheeks with a tender look in his eyes.

"I love you, Lix."

He leaned in to kiss the younger boy but their lips didn't get to touch.

Changbin got torn away from Felix, whose eyes widened in shock.

"No!"

The older boy's father had grabbed his son and dragged him away.

"Hyung!"

Felix tried to run to him, but the hurt look in Changbin's eyes prevented him from doing so. 

"Lix, don't...it's useless."

He looked defeated and followed his parents wordless.

Felix blamed himself in that moment for what has happened right now.

If only they would've been more careful.

"I love you too...", he whispered even though Changbin couldn't hear him anymore. 

Something wet ran down his cheeks and he had his hand still reached out for the older boy to grab it. 

But he was gone.


	6. red

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is really sad and it made me cry writing it, so if you are an emotional wreck just like me I suggest to snuggle yourself up in your favourite blanket and maybe cuddle with your plushie and have some tissues near you♥

**R** ed, like the last rose from Changbin's back yard. 

R **e** d, like the sixth stripe of the rainbow.

Re **d** , like his cherry red lips.

Changbin's house was empty the next morning.

No sounds were emitting from the shell that was supposed to represent a house.

It was, as if the older boy's family had never lived in the house.

The only evidences for their existence were the blooming flowers and the mowed lawn in the front yard.

Felix was laying in his bed, crying.

He hated himself for not being more careful.

He hated Changbin's father for being such an asshole.

He even hated Changbin for not fighting against his father - because now he was gone.

But he loved the older boy so much it hurt - and his heart hurt even more, now that he was gone and he would probably not be able to ever see him again.

Tears of anger and sadness ran down his freckled cheeks and heartbreaking sobs left his throat.

Yesterday had been such a beautiful day - they had fun and even made some new friends.

The younger boy was convinced, that he will never be able to see Changbin again.

Never hear his voice again - and all the cheesy compliments he had made Felix.

Never be able to steal his clothes again because he wanted to smell like him.

Never kiss those sinful cherry red lips of him again - the ones he had also shared gentle kisses with.

Never be able to lay in his arms again and fall asleep.

Never be able to be _his_.

He felt empty - like the house next door.

To match his mood the sky had decided to make it rain.

Felix almost laughed when he heard the near thunder and the rain hitting against his window.

The rain symbolized his tears and the storm how he felt on the inside - torn between doing nothing and destroying his room.

He ignored everyone, who tried to talk to him - and nobody could enter his room, because he had locked the door last night.

He had known, that, if they get caught by Changbin's parents, they wouldn't be able to stay together. He had always been careful not to leave hickeys on the older boy's skin, because he knew his parents would punish him - and that would affect him too. His priority was always Changbin's well-being.

And now he didn't have a priority anymore.

The boy, who managed to make the freckled boy blush in only the matter of a second, wasn't here anymore.

"Felix", Olivia said and knocked on his door.

"Go away, Liv." His voice was barely understandable.

"No I won't", she said and the taller boy could hear her lean against the door, "you can't stay in your room forever."

"As you can see, I _can_."

"Lix, please."

"No."

"Ugh, stop being so stubborn!"

Felix sniffed and hugged the pillow next to him.

"Please...just go away. I want to be alone."

"Do you really think he would've wanted you to be a sulking potato with a cloud hanging over your head?", Olivia asked.

"No..."

"See? Then why are you acting like one?"

"Because he's gone..."

"He is gone after every summer break, Lix. It's almost september."

"But this time it's different."

Olivia sighed and hit her head lightly against the door.

"Lee Felix, open that door now or you'll regret it."

"No."

"Yongbok, I swear to-"

She suddenly stumbled inside her brother's room and landed on the hard wooden floor.

"Ouch."

Felix looked down at her with swollen, puffy eyes and a red nose.

"How often do I have to tell you that I hate that fucking name? Leave me the fuck alone! I don't want to talk about Changbin and how he would have wanted me to behave", the freckled boy snapped and glared at his sister, "he isn't here anymore and he'll probably never come b-back..."

Felix' voice sounded strangled and his lips were trembling.

Olivia's eyes had pity in the as he looked at her older brother. His knees gave in and he started sobbing again.

The girl hugged the freckled boy tightly, stroking his back and trying to calm him down, helping him breathe.

"I should've been more careful, Liv...", he cried out, "it's all my fault."

"No, it's not. It's not your fault his parents are assholes."

Olivia cupped Felix' face in her hands and made him look her into the eyes.

"Believe me", she whispered and kissed the tip of his nose, caressing his freckled cheeks, "and believe him."

"B-believe him? H-how?"

She smiled softly and gave her brother an envelope.

"Read this, okay? I'm here for you, if you want to talk afterwards", she whispered and patted her brother's head before she left the room.

The freckled boy was still kneeling on the ground, holding a worn envelope in his trembling hands.

He crawled over to his bed to lean against something, because he had the feeling to faint soon.

His mind kept telling him to not open that envelope, it might hurt him more than he already was, but his heart was impatient and wanted to know what the older boy might have wanted to tell him.

After taking a deep breath he managed to open the envelope, feeling a tight pressure in his chest already.

Which words would the other boy have chosen to tell him?

Felix almost couldn't look at the sheets of paper in his hands as he opened the first one.

His mind wasn't as fast as his eyes while he read the following lines, rereading them to fully understand what was written on the sheet of paper.

_Dear Felix_

_Wow, it's getting cheesy already_

_I'm sorry._

_I have no idea if I'll ever give you this to read - who knows, maybe I'll read them out loud to you once, dying because of the cringe._

_Anyways...there are so may thing I want to - need to - tell you. You probably have heard most of it already, when I finally have the guts to tell you, but I still have the urge to get this off my chest. So I write._

_My heart feels so full._

_So full of love for you._

_We aren't even a couple, but I still discovered those feelings for you, but I didn't tell you._

"Why didn't you, you idiot?", Felix whispered while reading and started chewing on the inner-side of his cheeks. 

_I didn't want to ruin what we had._

"Well...you didn't. I did." 

_Love, Changbin_

Every word was written neatly, in a readable handwriting, with a ink pen. 

The ink pen Changbin had used yesterday. 

Felix' eyes were filled with tears again. He read the letter over and over again. This must have been an older letter according to the other letters in the envelope. 

His hands already grabbed the next letter while his mind still tried to understand what was written i the first letter and before he knew it, he had already started reading again. 

_My beloved Felix,_

__

let's not start this cringey again. 

__

Okay, maybe yes. 

__

I'm sorry 

__

But I love you , what should I do? And writing this is a lot easier than telling you. So much easier. 

__

I actually wanted to come over and kiss you when you told me to stop calling you 'baby'. I wanted to tell you I love you and I don't want anyone else calling you that. 

__

It should be my one and only privileg - and mine only. 

__

My dad scolded me for talking to you too long when I went back inside. Remember the dinner with the business partners of my dad? I was only sitting at the table. 

__

All I could think about was you. 

__

You filled my mind and my heart - you still do and I want to call you mine so badly. 

__

But I couldn't and that bothered me. 

__

'I love you, can you be my boyfriend?' 

__

Why are these eight words so easy to write but so hard to say? They are just words - and still, I wasn't able to ask you out. 

__

It's frustrating. Really. Why does it have to be so complicated? 

__

_Do you remember how we even became friends with benefits?_

A sad and bitter chuckle left the freckled boy's throat. "Of course I remember. You idiot were drunk at my birthday and kissed me when we were in my room to go to sleep." 

_You were drunk and asked me how my lips would feel like and I suggested to try it out._

"Okay...that could be true too." Felix blushed a bit and hid his face in the pillow he was hugging. 

While Felix read Changbin's letters his mood got a little bit better because he felt the connection to the older boy through the letters - but at the same time he got even more sad and the lump in his throat got bigger an bigger with every line his eyes read. 

_The day after your birthday I had hickeys on my neck and you asked me if we had sex. We didn't. I have never answered your question. I'm sorry, Lix_

__

I didn't want to take the advantage of you being drunk. That wouldn't have been fair. Since then, we decided on being friends with benefits. 

__

But I've had feelings for you way earlier - and I was actually the most happy person on earth to get a little bit closer to you, even though it was just a little step. 

__

But it was something - and it meant so much to me. 

__

I love you - and I have loved you ever since. 

__

_Love, Changbinnie_

The freckled boy couldn't read any more words Changbin has written for him because the tears in his eyes blocked his sight. 

The lump in his throat was suffocating. Every single breath he took hurt and he clung to the pieces of paper into his hands as if his life was depending on it. He was his life - Changbin was the one who made Felix' life even better and soon he became his life. 

"I-I'm so sorry, H-hyung...", he sobbed and cried his soul out - glad that it was raining, so he didn't have to hear his own voice, crying out for the boy he loved so much but wasn't able hold him in his arms anymore. 

It happened in a blink of a second. One second of being careless. 

And everything was over. 

One letter was left and Felix was afraid to unfold it - afraid of what could be written in the last letter. 

But he was curious. 

After everything Changbin had written, this must be the newest letter. 

With trembling fingers the freckled boy unfolded the piece of paper. The first thing he noticed was, how rushed Changbin must have been while writing this. 

Some words were slurred and stains of tears were visible. 

Felix' chest felt tight and he chewed on his lower lip when he started reading. 

_Felix,_

__

I love you. I love you so much it hurts. 

__

_I'm so sorry. You don't even know how sorry I am. I should've been more careful._

"No you idiot...", the freckled boy whispered and a choked sob left his throat, "it was m-my fault." 

_I have never really told you this, but you are the reason why I always looked forward to come here. I would never live with my parents under one roof for so long._

__

I actually live with my sister because of family problems. 

__

But you were the reason why I came here every year. And every summer break was special to me - I hope for you too. 

__

I'm overwhelmed by my feelings every time I see you. Every time you touch me feels like a firework I can't control. 

__

I'm so sorry I didn't tell you this earlier. I wish I could turn back time. 

__

I wish I would've listened to you. I shouldn't have gotten drunk and tried to kiss you in front of my parents. 

__

I can't do anything right. 

__

_I'm so sorry..._

This part of the letter was almost unreadable. So many tears have smudged the ink and Felix could imagine the older boy hovering over this letter, crying, sobbing and writing those bitter sweet words with a trembling hand. 

It broke his heart. 

More, than it already was. 

"You don't h-have to be s-sorry." 

_You don't even know how relieved I was, when you said you felt more for me than just friendship. I would have never thought you would return those feelings for me._

__

__

_I must've been too busy loving you, that I didn't even notice how you fell in love with me._

The freckled boy nodded and while doing so his own tears joined Changbin's on the letter, smudging the ink even more than it already was. 

_I hope you can forgive me that I left so suddenly. My dad didn't want me to say goodbye to you, so I have to say it through this letter._

__

Lee Felix, hopefully Seo Felix in the future, I promise you, that I'll come back. I'll come to see you again. I need to see you again. 

__

So this is not really a goodbye. 

__

It's a promise. 

__

I fucking love you, please don't forget this, yeah? 

__

In love, Changbin, your boyfriend and the only person who loves you so much that it hurts. 

__

_I love you._

Olivia held her brother in her arms and tried to calm him. 

Reading Changbin's letters made everything worse.

"I love him...", the freckled boy said with a hoarse voice.

"I know", his sister sighed and rubbed his back.

Even though the siblings always teased each other they were there for each other, if something bad happened.

"I hate myself."

Felix sniffed and hit his head against his knees.

"Hey, stop!", Olivia said and stopped her brother to hurt himself.

"That won't help you to get better", she said softly and brushed her hand through his hair.

"And don't hurt yourself. Didn't he promise you to come back?"

Felix had shown his sister the letters.

"He did..."

"Then trust him", Olivia said smiling, "he wouldn't promise you something he wouldn't be able to keep."

The freckled boy looked at her.

"Are you sure...?"

His sister nodded.

"Just believe in him", she said, "and until he comes back just keep this rose. He gave it to me with the letters."

Felix grabbed the rose and smelled the intoxicating scent.

A small smile spread across his lips and he closed his eyes.

"Why did he give you the letters?"

"Because he called me and asked me to give you this, since his father didn't allow him to meet you."

The freckled boy nodded and put his head onto his sisters shoulder.

He had to yawn because of all the crying. Crying was tiring and he slowly felt the effects of crying all night and day.

"Sleep a bit, Lix", Olivia whispered and patted his head.


	7. white

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's a little spicy stuff going on, but only suggestive. Just thought I should tell you, but it's in the tags as well uwu

**W** hite - like the snow falling down from the sky. 

W **h** ite - like the fog in the morning. 

Wh **i** te - like a sheet of paper. 

Whi **t** e - like ice skates. 

Whit **e** \- like the clouds that could carry a rainbow.

Summer was over. 

Felix had been waiting until the day Changbin left, that the older boy would come back.

_The rest of July._

Felix barely left his room and did nothing but to read the letters. Over and over again.

He tried to feel every word Changbin had written. Those words were determined for him. Only him.

He didn't regret he showed his sister the letters, but it was intimate.

Olivia was there for him the whole time.

He always looked outside his window, watched the people that passed by his house and stopped by Changbin's family's house to admire the flowers.

Yes, the flowers were still blooming.

And it hurt to look at them.

It was, as if Changbin was still here. As if he could ring on the doorbell any time and smile up to Felix. Hugging him - kissing him.

But he was gone.

_August._

The freckled boy was still sad, but he didn't stay in his room for the whole day.

His gloomy mood was replaced by a smile from time to time and Olivia was relieved her brother _lived_ again.

What she didn't know, was, that he still cried himself to sleep every night, pressing the letters against his chest tightly - wanting Changbin to finally come back, as he promised.

"I miss you, Hyung..."

He had said those words so many times now, he felt like a broken record every time he said those words.

"I l-love you."

Since Changbin didn't text him, Felix spammed him with messages.

 **Felix:**  
hyung?

 **Felix:**  
i'm sorry

 **Felix:**  
i'm so sorry for what happened

 **Felix:**  
thank you so much for the letters

 **Felix:**  
but they make me miss you even more :(

 **Felix:**  
i love you

 **Felix:**  
and i'll wait for you

 **Felix:**  
i hope you get this messages

 **Felix:**  
sorry if i annoy you

 **Felix:**  
i just miss you so much

 **Felix:**  
please come back, hyung :(

 **Felix:**  
i want to be seo felix in the future

 **Felix:**  
make me yours

 **Felix:**  
officially yours

 **Felix:**  
let's go somewhere else

 **Felix:**  
where we can be together

 **Felix:**  
I love you so much

 **Felix:**  
and when you finally get your lazy ass to my house to come and get me, you better kiss me roughly and explain to me, what the fuck took you so long to ask me out

 **Felix:**  
ok, i'm sorry

 **Felix:**  
please

 **Felix:**  
just come back please

 **Felix:**  
come back to me 

**Felix:**  
I need you

_September._

The days became shorter and the nights became longer again.

By now, Felix knew every single word of the letters by heart.

He even memorized how the words were written, if the ink was smudged by Changbin's tears - or his own.

It was like a permanent picture in front of his eyes.

Changbin still hasn't texted back.

"Still no sign of life?", Olivia asked and looked at her brother. 

They were watching a Disney film they used to watch as little kids. 

"Nope", Felix said and sighed.

"Don't lose your hope, I'm sure he'll come back."

"I'm not losing hope, it's just...he should hurry up or I'm gonna beat his ass if he lets me wait for another month", the freckled boy sighed heavily and brushed his hand through his soft hair.

Olivia laughed at her brother's behavior and threw a pillow on him.

"So, you're done mourning?", she asked and caught the pillow Felix threw back at her.

"Hell no", he laughed, "I just started. And I'm going to make everything dramatic, like a little bitch."

"You already do that - you always do that", Olivia deadpanned.

"Did I say when I would start?", Felix asked and arched an eyebrow, "No I didn't so better prepare yourself for more drama."

"Oh god...what did I do to be your sister? I must've been a horrible person in my previous life", she complained.

"Who said you aren't a horrible person right now?"

"Hey, remember that I didn't tell mom you were the one who stole the Cheetos", Olivia said and threw the pillow again.

"You're right...but you hit my pretty face again!"

He laughed and threw himself on his sister.

"Pft, that's what you call pretty?"

"Yah!"

Felix attacked his sister with another pillow and the Disney film was forgotten.

He was finally healing - and still waiting for Changbin to come back to him.

_October._

Another month had passed.

Felix would definitely beat Changbin's ass when he comes back.

Felix went back to school in September - and usually he would have daydreamed about Changbin to ask him out, but since that already happened he just thought about him on a daily basis like a crazy fanboy.

Obviously, just on the inside.

He became quite good friends with Hyunjin, who happened to go to the same school as the freckled boy - but they had somehow never seen each other.

"How long have you been waiting now?", the older boy asked on a rainy afternoon he spent with the freckled boy.

"One hundred and four days", Felix immediately said and continued flipping through a comic.

"Wow, you counted every day?"

"Well, what would you do, if Seungmin would leave you because his parents are homophobic shitheads and he promised you to come back?", Felix asked and squinted over the edge of the comic to look at his friend.

"Uhm...probably the same."

"Exactly", Felix hummed and closed the comic.

"And what are you going to do now?" Hyunjin looked at his friend and lened his head onto his hand.

"I'll wait", the freckled boy sighed.

And he did wait - for months.

 **Changbin:**  
i'll come soon :)

_November._

"I hate you."

Felix crossed his arms and looked at Changbin.

The older boy came back in the middle of the night, covered in a thin layer of snow.

"No, you don't", the older boy chuckled and opened his arms.

"No, I don't...", the freckled boy whispered and dived in for a bone breaking hug.

Changbin stumbled a few steps backwards and pressed Felix against his chest.

"W-why did you make me w-wait for so l-long?", Felix croaked out and hit the older boy's chest repeatedly.

Tears were streaming down his freckled cheeks and his hits got weaker every second.

"I'm sorry", the other boy whispered and brushed his fingers through Felix' hair.

"I'm so sorry for making you wait for so long", he apologized - crying.

"That doesn't matter now", Felix whispered and cupped Changbin's face in his tiny hands, "what matters now is you - us."

Changbin sobbed quietly and pressed his lips desperately against the younger boy's.

Felix stumbled inside the house, his arms around his boyfriend's neck, hastily freeing Changbin from his coat.

"You're wearing too much, Hyung", the younger boy whispered and tried to undress Changbin in the middle of the living room - his parents and sisters were upstairs, asleep.

The older boy chuckled. "Hey, Lix, slow down. We have all the time in the world."

"But-", Felix said pouting and grabbed the collar of Changbin's hoodie.

"Hey, I'm here now", the older boy calmed the younger boy down by cupping Felix' face in his hands, "and I won't go anywhere, where you aren't." 

"But you did...", the younger boy whispered and looked into Changbin's eyes.

"I know...and I'm terribly sorry", the older boy whispered, "but you know I had no choice."

"I know, Hyung. M'sorry."

"Don't apologize, baby", Changbin said and smiled softly, "what matters now, is, that I'm finally here. And that we're together."

Felix nodded and dragged the older boy upstairs.

"God, I missed you so much...", the freckled boy whispered and pushed Changbin on his bed.

The older boy grabbed him by his waist and pulled him on top of him.

"You don't even know how much I missed you, baby."

The shorter boy ripped off the t-shirt of his boyfriend's body.

"Hey, that was one of yours...", Felix said pouting and put his arms around Changbin's neck.

"Do you really want to sulk about one of my shirts or do you want to have me?", the older boy asked with an arched eyebrow.

"You're right", the younger boy giggled, "why should I sulk about a piece of fabric when I have the whole meal in front of me?"

Changbin smirked and kissed the younger boy hungrily, grabbing him by his waist and pulling him closer towards him.

"So...what do you want to do now?", Felix whispered into Changbin's ear after their heated kiss.

"I want you", the older boy said with a rough voice.

Changbin had his arms wrapped around Felix' body - like he always had, when they were sleeping next to each other.

"Did you guys have sex last night? While everyone was asleep?", Olivia asked shook, "While I was sleeping next door?"

Her voice got an octave higher as she crossed her arms and looked at her brother in disbelief, who was laying in his boyfriend's arms - naked, but covered with a blanket.

Felix woke up from his sister's shrill voice.

"Fuck off...", he grumbled and snuggled against Changbin's bare chest.

"Be quiet", the older boy mumbled and wrapped his arms tighter around his boyfriend.

Olivia rolled her eyes - even tough she was screaming internally. 

"Hey, sleepyhead", she said and grabbed Felix' shoulder, "you promised me something yesterday?"

"What...? I don't remember promising you anything, Liv."

"You promised to go ice skating with me", she said.

"I didn't know Changbin would come back that day", the freckled boy grumbled and looked at his sister annoyedly.

"Well, I didn't know you would get fucked", she deadpanned.

Felix blushed immediately.

"Stop arguing, please." Changbin sat up and brushed his fingers through his disheveled hair.

"Liv, could you please leave?", he asked Felix' sister and smiled at her.

Felix buried his face in Changbin's chest and ignored, that the older boy had called his sister by her nickname.

She sighed and left her brother's room.

"Ugh...my sister is so embarrassing", Felix whined. He hated it, when she came into his room without him noticing - especially when he was asleep.

"Mhm...but she's right", Changbin said with a smirk on his sinful cherry red lips, "look at you, how beautiful you are."

His fingers caressed the numerous purple love bites covering the younger boy's neck, travelling down his chest and even further.

"I-i know", the freckled boy said blushing and the older boy kissed his forehead.

"Get dressed, baby. You have to keep a promise", the older boy whispered into Felix' ears.

"Okay..." Felix got up and grabbed a few clothes from his drawer.

"Nice ass", Changbin joked.

"Hyung, stop it! Goddamnit...", the younger boy cursed and shook his head while pulling a blue hoodie over his head.

"Didn't you steal that hoodie from me while I was sleeping?", Changbin asked.

"Could be", Felix said, shrugging.

"Lix, hurry up!", Olivia called from downstairs and Felix grumbled.

"I'm coming!"

"You did last night too..."

"Oh god, Changbin!"

Felix ran downstairs to escape his perverted boyfriend - even though he wished he could still lay in his arms, admire his beautiful facial features and cuddle with him all day long.

"Ugh, these ice skates are too small", Olivia complained and went back to the ice skate rental to get another pair.

Felix tied his ice skates and received a kiss on the cheek from Changbin, who was sitting next to him - Olivia asked him, if he wanted to come along with them and he agreed.

"What was the kiss for?", Felix chuckled and fixed the beanie on his head.

"Just because", the older boy said shrugging and smiled widely.

"I haven't seen you in four months, Lix", he whispered and leaned closer, "am I not allowed to kiss my boyfriend on the cheek?"

"No", Felix said and crossed his arms.

"Why, baby?" The older boy had a pout on his lips and looked into Felix' eyes.

"Because I prefer you kissing me on my lips", the freckled boy said and put his hand on the older boy's cheek.

He leaned in and placed his lips on Changbin's. Both boys closed their eyes, their lips melting in a soft kiss. Neither of them cared, who was watching them - they did not perceive anything other than themselves and their counterparts.

"I love you", Felix whispered and leaned his forehead against Changbin's.

"I love you more", the older boy whispered back.

The freckled boy chuckled. "That's simply not possible, Binnie."

"It is-"

"Are you done flirting now?"

Olivia had a new pair of ice skates and had watched his brother and his boyfriend for a while now.

"Olivia!", Felix whined, "Why do you always have to interrupt us in the worst moments possible?"

"I don't know, maybe because I have a brother who promised to go ice skating with me?", she said and arched an eyebrow.

"You know that you act like a little child right now?", her brother said and squinted his eyes.

"I know, but I don't care."

Felix rolled his eyes and grabbed Changbin's hand.

"Let's go."

"Uhm...Lix?", the older boy whispered.

"Hm?"

"I haven't been ice skating since I was a kid", Changbin confessed.

"Aw, don't worry, I'll help you", the taller boy said and held the older boy's hand tightly.

They entered the ice rink and Changbin's knees wobbled slightly.

"You okay?"

Changbin nodded and clung to the freckled boy's arm.

"You're cute", Felix said smirking and put an arm around the older boy's waist to stabilize him.

"I-i'm not", Changbin contradicted.

"You are."

The shorter boy glared at him but still clung to his arm until his knees stopped wobbling.

"I think I can do it by myself now", the shorter boy said and tried to go over the ice by himself.

Felix let go of him and started to chase him once he was stable enough to stand on the ice at his own.

"I'm faster than you!"

"No you're not!"

Felix passed by Changbin and blew a kiss towards him.

Olivia crossed their path and caught the flying kiss.

"Hey!"

Changbin formed his lips into a pout. "That was mine!"

The girl laughed and winked at him.

"Don't wink at my boyfriend, Liv!", Felix said and hugged Changbin from behind.

"Here, have this one", the freckled boy whispered and kissed the older boy's cheek.

"Thanks, baby", Changbin said and turned around to kiss the younger boy on his lips.

"You're welcome, Binnie."

The three teenagers had fun at the ice rink for the rest of the afternoon and grabbed some snacks from the petrol station on their way home.

"Can we get some orange juice too?", Olivia asked.

"Sure, but only when there's no alcohol in it", Felix and Changbin said simultaneously and started laughing afterwards.

The girl rolled her eyes and had to laugh too.

"You idiots."

After they payed for everything they left the petrol station and went home.

It was already dark outside and it had started snowing.

Felix was only wearing the blue hoodie and he had started shivering due to he cold and Changbin put his coat around the freckled boy's shoulders.

"Thanks...but now you're going to be cold", Felix said and pouted.

"I'm fine, baby", Changbin chuckled, "as long as you're in my heart, I'll be always warm."

"Oh, you cheesy idiot", the younger boy laughed.

"But I'm your idiot."

A ringing sound interrupted them and Changbin pulled out his phone.

"Sorry, that's my sister", he said and pressed the green button.

The two boys stayed up all night, talking, cuddling and kissing.

"I don't know how I would have survived, if I wouldn't have gotten your letters, Binnie", Felix whispered, "or if you wouldn't have come back..."

"Well, I'm glad then, you got them", the older boy whispered back, "and I'm very thankful to your sister, that she gave them to you."

"I still have them."

"You do?"

The freckled boy nodded and crawled over his bed to reach for the envelope.

He climbed back to the older boy and made himself comfortable in his boyfriend's arms.

"You cried so hard while you wrote this, that the ink got smudged", the younger boy whispered and smiled sadly.

"I know...my heart was broken."

The older boy grabbed the letters and started to read them out loud.

_"Dear Felix_

_Wow, it's getting cheesy already_

_I'm sorry._

_I have no idea if I'll ever give you this to read - who knows, maybe I'll read them out loud to you once, dying because of the cringe."_

"Well...now I'm actually reading them to you", the older boy chuckled.

"Yes you are...I prefer hearing your voice while you read them to me", Felix said and snuggled against the older boy's chest.

"I'm actually dying because of the cringe, you know?", Changbin said and grimaced before he continued to read.

_"Anyways...there are so may thing I want to - need to - tell you. You probably have heard most of it already, when I finally have the guts to tell you, but I still have the urge to get this off my chest. So I write._

_My heart feels so full._

_So full of love for you._

_We aren't even a couple, but I still discovered those feelings for you, but I didn't tell you._

_I didn't want to ruin what we had._

_Love,  
Changbin"_

"Oh god, do you see me dying on the inside?", the older boy whined and put the letter away.

Felix laugend and gave him the next one.

"There's no turning back now."

"I know...why did I even start to do this?"

"I didn't ask you to do it", the younger boy chuckled, "but continue, please."

He pouted and almost did aegyo.

"Please don't make me to do aegyo", he begged and Changbin started to smirk.

"Now you gave me an idea."

"Oh god...okay."

Changbin leaned back and looked at Felix.

"Bbuing bbuing", Felix said and started laughing because of his voice.

"Oh god, I never thought your voice would prevent you from being cute." The older boy burst out into laughter.

"Hey, be nice. I did aegyo for you", Felix laughed and hit Changbin's chest lightly.

"Okay, okay...I'm sorry, baby."

"Now continue reading, please."

"Okay", Changbin said and started reading.

_"My beloved Felix,_

_let's not start this cringey again."_

"Whoops, there we go", the older boy laughed.

Felix chuckled and snuggled even closer against Changbin's chest.

_"Okay, maybe yes._

_I'm sorry_

_But I love you , what should I do? And writing this is a lot easier than telling you. So much easier."_

"But you can tell me now", the younger boy said and caressed the older boy's cheek.

"Now I can", Changbin agreed, "I love you, baby."

He pecked Felix' lips gently and continued to read.

_"I actually wanted to come over and kiss you when you told me to stop calling you 'baby'. I wanted to tell you I love you and I don't want anyone else calling you that."_

"Why didn't you do that?", Felix asked with a cute pout on his lips.

"Because I just...couldn't, you know?" The older boy looked at the younger boy apologetically and kissed him quickly on the cheek.

_"It should be my one and only privileg - and mine only."_

"It is only yours now", the freckled boy whispered smiling.

_"My dad scolded me for talking to you too long when I went back inside. Remember the dinner with the business partners of my dad? I was only sitting at the table._

_All I could think about was you._

_You filled my mind and my heart - you still do and I want to call you mine so badly._

_But I couldn't and that bothered me._

_'I love you, can you be my boyfriend?'"_

" _You_ actually made me say it", Felix said and laughed.

"I know, I did it smoothly."

"No you tricked me."

"I didn't, you just repeated my words, Lix", Changbin defended himself and looked at his boyfriend.

"Okay okay, you're right."

The shorter boy chuckled and looked at the letter again.

_"Why are these eight words so easy to write but so hard to say? They are just words - and still, I wasn't able to ask you out._

_It's frustrating. Really. Why does it have to be so complicated?_

_Do you remember how we even became friends with benefits?_

_You were drunk and asked me how my lips would feel like and I suggested to try it out."_

"Do you remember that day?", Changbin asked chuckling.

The freckled boy blushed and nodded.

"I-i was drunk. I didn't-"

"You totally meant it, baby." The older boy smirked.

_"The day after your birthday I had hickeys on my neck and you asked me if we had sex. We didn't. I have never answered your question. I'm sorry, Lix_

_I didn't want to take the advantage of you being drunk. That wouldn't have been fair. Since then, we decided on being friends with benefits._

_But I've had feelings for you way earlier - and I was actually the most happy person on earth to get a little bit closer to you, even though it was just a little step._

_But it was something - and it meant so much to me._

_I love you - and I have loved you ever since._

_Love,  
Changbinnie"_

After he had finished reading the letter a deep sigh left his lips.

"Ah...I shouldn't get emotional now", he said and blinked a few times to ban the tears from his eyes.

The younger boy cooed and kissed his tears away.

"It's okay, Binnie", he reassured the older boy and hugged him tightly.

"I thought I'd never see you again...", Changbin sobbed and clung to his boyfriend.

"Sh...I'm here now. You are here now."

"I know...", the older boy whispered and kissed Felix on his lips.

The freckled boy kissed him back an climbed onto his boyfriend's lap.

"What about the last letter, Lix?", Changbin whispered.

"Don't read it, please..."

"Why not?"

"I don't want to feel sad, now that you're here", the younger boy said and smiled at the other boy.

"Well, what do you want to do then?"

"Do you even have to ask?", the freckled boy chuckled, "I want cuddles!"

And they did cuddle - abandoning the white sheets of paper.

Changbin and Felix stayed awake until it was getting day already.

If you looked outside the window, you could see the white fog creeping down the street.

"Look, the sun is already rising", Felix whispered and had to yawn.

"Wanna go outside and watch the sunrise from your garden?", the older boy suggested and put his arms around the younger boy.

Felix' eyes began to shine and he nodded. "Yes please."

Changbin put a thick blanket around them and they sneaked out into the garden.

As the sun was rising, it shone down on Felix' face and made his freckles stand out even more.

"Beautiful...", the younger boy could hear Changbin whisper and he turned his head to him, only to see, that the older boy was looking at him and not the sunrise.

"I love you. I love you so much..."

"I love you too", the older boy said smiling and kissed the younger boy's nose.

Felix put his head onto Changbin's shoulder and watched the sunrise - surrounded by white clouds.

Clouds, that could carry a rainbow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, this was the last chapter of rainbow uwu
> 
> I hope you liked it ^^

**Author's Note:**

> I originally posted this story on Wattpad and it's old, so it's a little cringe, but I really liked it so I wanted to post it here as well :)


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